This story is from June 21, 2006

Romancing your long distance love

Your loved one is far away. You don't know what they're doing. You also don't know if they are thinking of you or missing you...
Romancing your long distance love

Everyone who’s been there and done that agree that long distance relationships can be trying.

/photo/1667730.cmsYour loved one is far away. You don't know what they're doing, or who they're meeting. You also don’t know if they are thinking of you, missing you... and most of all, there’s no frequent reassuring conversations between both of you. And that is why, more often than not, such relationships fail. So, here are some tips from those who have successfully killed the distance and kept the romance alive in their long distance relationships.

Establish some ground rules:

Get everything in the open, so that there are no sneaky feelings between you both. Talk about whether you can see other people romantically , how often you’d like to speak to each other, and if there are special occasions where the two of you must see each other in person.

Send snail mails:

It is an inexpensive way to stay in touch. The recipient can keep the letter and read it any time they miss you and need a hug. Of course, you can send more than letters. You could send a taped message of love, or a CD that alternates between your message and some of your beloved’s favourite songs, or even a blank jigsaw puzzle that you write on and send a few pieces at a time.

Arrange to watch a TV program together:

It’s a unique way to connect. That way, you can experience the enjoyment simultaneously, even though you're miles apart. And later on, call each other and discuss.

Don't fight over small problems:

Because you can't talk as often as you like, everything becomes magnified. Therefore, make a decision that you won’t fight over small problems like throwing a tantrum because your partner promised to call at a certain time, and he or she couldn’t . You would have been waiting for that call, but something could have cropped up at their end. All couples fight on this issue . But when you are in an LDR, save the fighting for the really important issues .

Accept uncertainty:

When you do see each other again, things might initially tense and awkward. You may wonder, “Do I still love him?” or “Is this relationship still worthwhile?” Those thoughts are normal. They’ll pass. And if they don’t , you should consider breaking-up .

If there are problems, tell them:

If you see the relationship breaking apart, don’t keep it from the other person. Tell them. Don’t leave that kind of message on an answering machine or throw it in an e-mail . Get the other person on the phone. They deserve it.

Plan a surprise trip:

At times, phone and e-mail won't cut it. The best thing to do is see your loved one in person. Just go, and everything will be all right. And even if it isn’t , you won’t be accused of taking the easy way out.
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